Thursday, October 27, 2005

If You're Taking A Walk Through The Garden Of Life...

Life seems so rosy and full of ebulliency when all we see are the shadows dispersed by time... Void, and nullified of feeling, of living it in the present... in all cases but a few. And my college life is one of those few memories that has defined me, redefined me, and re-re-redefined me over time. Lots of memories - some nice, some bad, some hornified over time. My account is by no means complete or even satisfactory (according to me) but I guess this is just meant to be.

It seems just yesterday that an angry, rebellious teenager entered college. Calculating the time, it has been two and a half years already. When he stepped in, he was lonely and had no one with him. And then, in a flash, he had a gang. A gang, who never understood what was in his mind, nonetheless made his stay in college a pleasant one. One full of memories. Waiters slapping their foreheads whenever this unruly gang of 8 to 10 supposedly uncivilized people raided their restaurants, all those gang wars, all those failed love affairs of the gang members who would slip into Devdas mode, Booze parties of this Devdas cult (including me, and one in which I almost got stabbed by Bevda), all those times in the Kiosk and Food court when we would mercilessly rag and mentally rape each other by cracking cheap jokes (mostly homosexual ones... BLEH!)...

First year introduced me to heartache, misery, broken love (though I now feel she wasn't worth it) and enhanced levels of pain. First year got me a couple of very good friends, all the while strengthening my bond with those friends who lived so far away...

Second year brought some friends closer, and yet we failed to see the inevitable. Dissolved friendships, of people who once were quite close. The gang was broken. Shattered. United we stood, Divided we fell, never to rise again as a whole, but only as a ghost. Second year brought me new friends, best friends falling in love, redefined bonds with the oldest of friends... Even made a Song called the "Winter of 2kFive"... New age version of Summer of 69 (I guess it's put up on my blog)... The summer of 2005 brought me unexpected twists in life. New goals, new constraints, new hopes, new pains and new twisted mindwarps. Made me look ahead and ask myself if I had a clear vision of my future. And so the story goes...

College life made a rebellious teenager ease down life and it's challenges. It made him look up to new challenges in life and seek the tougher ones. It made him search for the Meaning of Life. He still searches for the meaning, all the while living each day, appreciating the beauty and the monotony of life. He saw the way priorities changed and the things that were once important to him no longer meant anything to him. He masked himself, unmasked people, went mad analyzing complex personalities...

College life made me develop subliminal connections and etched new thought systems. I saw visions of what could be and more, flash in front of my eyes... Some transcendental in it's own nature. I saw how friendship could be built, broken, rebuilt, weathered and finally washed away. I realized the importance of the eternal variable called truth. I realized that I loved being rash and I loved looking for danger. I learnt how painful and beautiful attachments can be. College life all the more depressed me for living in a non-utopian world. College life made me realize that I was capable of things I never dreamed of... Good and Bad. It made me realize that I am much more than what I am or what I have let myself be.

I wanted to see the difference between what I was then, and what I am now. I wanted to remember and appreciate things that were once an integral part of me, to analyze life's ups and downs, to be indebted towards my best friends who always stood by me. I wanted to remember those three girls in my life who irrevocably moulded me more powerfully than they ever imagined they would. I wanted to rekindle the flames of nostalgia and bring back those memories of my first kiss, love and powerful bursts of passion... and submerge myself in it.

I finally finished my long impending trip down memory lane.

4 comments:

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Anonymous said...

I truly believe that we have reached the point where technology has become one with our lives, and I am 99% certain that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.


I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as the price of memory decreases, the possibility of copying our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I daydream about all the time.


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Anonymous said...

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And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

Anonymous said...

excellent points and the details are more precise than elsewhere, thanks.

- Thomas