Monday, January 31, 2005

Transcending Spacetime

Some things which will be needed to understand my post :

Frame Of Reference - A fixed point or a set of fixed points in space from which an event is viewed or observed.

Time Dilation - Time gets expanded for a person who views an event outside the frame of reference in which the event is taking place. For the person in the frame where the event is actually taking place, I assume that time gets contracted. My assumption is of consequence much later in the post.

What Prof. Iyer said - Suppose you are going to Hampi from Bangalore and at exactly 10 PM, you board the train. You are on the train and your friend is observing from the station. You presumably sleep and when you wake up you are in Hampi. Now the realative distance you have moved is 0 KM (since you are still on the berth in the train) but for your friend, you have travelled 352 KM.

The ideology is even when you believe that you are in the same place you have actually moved across spacetime.

The Post Itself :

Now, today I had a very weird dream which I shall try my best to recollect and tell.

The scene is at Chunnu's place. I vaguely remember this portion but it had something to do with food and I guess we were sleeping on the floor with some comfortable beds.

Now all of a sudden, my mind shifts and now I am in this house... a weird house which is half trashed and half clean. It's multi-storeyed (I guess 3 floors + Ground.) There is this really happening party going on here... I remember a few familiar faces in my dream but mostly unfamiliar ones. I remember takinga few drinks in and maybe smoking a bit also. (I guess the building might be modeled based on Purple Haze, cos' in the dream, I remember a narrow staircase as well. And moreover I had been there yesterday.)

Now the weird part steps in. I remember... a girl. Not very pretty, but ok looking. Decent figure also, but not a bomb. I have never seen her face before. She has a fairly dark complexion. However, it's as if I seem to know everything about her. As if I recognize her from... some other life of mine or something like that. The feeling is hard to explain. Being very familiar with her, even though I have never seen her face before, I ask her for sex. She obliges.

Now I remember... there's this balcony type thing and a few plants in pots. She hides behind them. To get to the balcony, I must pass through a room. Now as luck would have it, I spot a pack of condoms there. I thought "Aaahaaa!! God is great." I am running towards the balcony... or maybe floating through the air. (I really can't recall such vivid details 22 hours after I had the dream.) I snatch the packet of condoms and see - "Oho! Durex, eh. A good brand. Will do for now." I float across through the door and to the balcony now.

She is still hiding behind the plants, naked. An artistic view indeed. Or so I thought. And then I can't really explain this. There was a very powerful rush of feelings the went through me. I have never felt such intense passion before. It's as if all of time is held captive in that moment of glory and it makes you want to savour that moment... for eternity.

I am now wanting to have sex with her and I have a vision of the state of bliss I will be in, during the union of souls. (I really don't know why I felt like it was supposed to be a union of souls, or as a way of experiencing a kind of elation never felt before. Maybe "The Da Vinci Code" has been subconsciously influencing me.) Now, as I look at her again, I see fear... She is very scared. "Of what?" I wonder. Then I realize it's a trap, something laid out so I could descend from grace, whatever that means. I knew I had failed in something important (Not the sex thing here, but something which would have changed the universe for me. I have missed a trancendental experience.) And then everything is a blank. I don't see the girl anymore, I remember the horrendous laughing face of one of my friends and I wonder - "Why? Why has he done this? Why him of all the people? In what way will the web of life be affected now?" Then I am left with a feeling of sadness, of despair, of frustration. I was so close to attaining a state of happiness never known before (truly transcendental variety) and yet now I am very far. I will never know the same state of happiness again in my life which I was able to magically "preview".

And then the scene changes just like that. And then I remember seeing a guy called Ding-Dong. He is wearing his usual shades and carrying his T-610. And there was a car, a maroon Maruti 800. There were people driving that. And then Me and Chunnu were riding on my babe, Maya. And then all of a sudden, he disappears. I am looking for signboards that show the way to MG Road. Since I knew the way home from MG Road, I could rush home and start studying for my Maths exam. I start ripping on this flyover. I knew most of the flyovers in Bangalore but this one seemed strangely unfamiliar. I was going at an amazing speed. I proceed down the flyover. There is a curve. It's not sharp but... oh no! I am going too fast, and my bike is about to topple cos' the traction is not enough and just as I'm about to kiss the tarmac, I hear this loud ringing and wake up and curse my Alarm clock cos' my dream remained incomplete. I will never know the ending to this story.

And now, this is what stunned me to the core as nothing else had ever done before. I remembered Iyer's words about relative frames of reference and thought - "Damn!!!! What if the dreams I have, are not just dreams? Could it be a delicate connection by means of Astral projections onto different hyperplanes in the fabric of Spacetime continuum? What if my mind has actually travelled such large distances and times while I was asleep? What if the whole thing was not just fragments of my imagination? What if the dreams we have are actually links to our selves in another parallel universe? What if we are getting visions of our own existence in these other parallel universes? MMMIIINNNDDD BLOOOWWWIINNNGGGG!!!!!!! Fuck!!!! Could it actually be anything of this sort? What if I am actually living a different life in a different universe during the time I sleep here in this universe? What if time is getting contracted and I am able to live many lives through my dreams (or maybe astral projections on a different plane of existence?) Maannnnn!!! Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! I need answers to these questions and I DON'T THINK I AM GOING TO GET THEM ANYTIME SOON. No wonder people say that the Human Mind is the most powerful thing in the universe. This just leaves my belief in the paranormal strengthened in a strangely mystical yet logical fashion.

There was however another of my dreams, in which I fall in love with this female - Ms. X. And life goes on, and at the end of the dream, she dies a tragic death cos' it was a death which I knew would happen eventually. And there were real powerful feelings associated with that. Actually, I still remember the last scenes... she was wearing a red T-shirt. She is lying on the floor. She is... dying. I go closer and tears are flowing down both our faces. I kinda kneel beside her and lift her head and place it on my lap, I give her true love's one last kiss and forever say goodbye. There is a shadow in my head and I felt that I was able to live something to the core before. Now there is darkness everywhere.

Now, there are some things I really don't remember much about. There was this cell-phone which she was holding when she died. What the hell is that supposed to mean?? It's funny how dreams unleash hitherto unknown feelings within. It makes you lose control of your mind in a weird way and when you wake up, you are gasping for breath, wondering what the shit just happened! Such dreams are potential troublemakers. Totally funny, what all we have to put up with in life. Sometimes dreams show you as a person totally opposite of what you are in real life. Many times it's scary, just plain scary to know that your mind is getting messed up with and in the end there's just chaos everywhere.

Welcome to my World of Subliminal Nonlinearities.

I'm Just A Guy In A Silly Black T-Shirt

Today was a good day. A very good day indeed. Got my mind blasted out cos' Iyer was giving a lecture on Special Theory of Relativity. But more so, cos' of Arun Mangalam. What a discussion, man!! Quantum Gravity, Spacetime curvatures, Mach's principle, Intertwining and Symmetry of spacetime, Active Galactic Nuclei, Grand Unification Theories. Holy Shit!!

Came back home. Was thinking AK would call up. He didn't. Blast that asshole. So went to the airport, reached there at 6.10 PM. Realized, on seeing the timings displayed, that his flight was due at 7.30 PM. Damn!!! So went walking, saw Kemp Fort... Roamed inside there. Came back to the airport at 7.20 PM. Waited and waited and waited and waited and waited.... yes.. and waited. Finally he steps out (AT 8.10 PM) and he shouts "Yo Ad." Now I yell like a madman and brandish my helmet violently at him while running down to hit him. One hot sexy chick got frightened. Mission Accomplished!!

Then we smoked at the airport. Then we went to Purple Haze. The place was jam-packed but we finally managed to get seats. Had cocktails. Smoked. They were showing amazing Metalllll Viiiiddddeeoooossss. Metallica, Manson, Papa Roach, GNR, 3 Doors Down, Linkin Park etc. And how could I forget Nirvana? Damn me. We shouted ourselves hoarse. There was this dude sitting next to our table, he struck up a convo with us. We all shouted and sang. Finally, we had to leave the place cos' it was time for his bus. That guy hugged us and said "Any fan of metal is my friend."

And so we bade farewell and headed down to Madivala. Smoked and chatted. His love story and hopefully mine as well. I drank 2 flavoured milks. Was also telling him about lesbian issue. Then it was time to say goodbye. We were after all meeting after... yes.. 15 DAYS. Drove back home. So that's around 3 hrs well spent. Now I must sleep, cos' I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied a thing.

Thus reminisced The Arcane Crapper.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

The Lesbian Saga Continues

Waddafok? I find it damn weird. She says things but what is she implying? Maybe she just wants to be friends and nothing more. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, this time. It'll save me a lot of trouble as well. I don't need to readjust my life.

Right now, families are being torn apart.
Right now, a child is dying because she doesn't have anything to eat.
Right now, people are struggling to take control of their lives.
Right now, lesbians are falling in love.
Right now is too much time to be going waste.
Right now, I must get sleeping.

Thus spake Lord Arcane Crapper

Friday, January 28, 2005

Wisdom Of Confucius

Confucius Says :

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Panties not best thing on earth
But next to best thing on earth

Better to be pissed off than pissed on

Girl who ride bicycle
Peddle ass all over town

He who have last laugh
Not get joke

Man who drop watch in toilet
Bound to have shitty time

Man who go to bed with itchy asshole
Wake with stinky finger

Naked man fear no pickpocket.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Lesbians Are Boring

All riggghhhtt!! Now what's today's subject of mindless crapping? Beats me.

Now lemme start off with a statement which confirms how utterly bored I was during the one hour droning session wherein I was verbally tortured by my lesbian friend. Maaannn, why do people talk so much? Just because I made the mistake of remarking that this female is cute, she has stuck on like a leech to me. Bhagwan, mujhe bachao... But then again, lemme give this character some more time to express her views. Half the stuff I hear about her is gossip. So let there be light!! Tadan tada.... (Blowing trumpets and all..) Maybe that lesbian is a different person inside.

But on the other hand... Daaaammmmnnnn!!! I should have crushed Nikita's hand today. It's not everyday that I can do that to a model. And pretend that it was unintentional ;-)

Got moi exams from 31st. God help me with Hindi. I'm gonna flunk that anyway...

Thus signs off the Arcane Crapper

Monday, January 24, 2005

Laplace's Equation

Yes, I know it's a weird title but that's what I've been breaking my head over. Laplace's Equation. And a whole lot of other stuff also.

Aaaaaiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Must do moooore reeeesearch.

My mind is blank. And I just don't know what to blog about. I guess it's bound to happen if I've slept for 14 hours today.

Someone kick me. And then gift me a Yamaha R1.

Vigorous Head Banging

Wish I could rape the day,
Just something radical
Lost the sense of sweet things
Who's gonna take me widely?

=> In Flames - Pinball Map

Am I forced to have any regret?
I've become the lie, beautiful and free
In my righteous own mind
I adore and preach the insanity you gave to me

I've lost the ability to paint the clouds
Cause it's me you're draining
I'm stuck in this slow-motion dark day
Cause everytime you run, I fall behind

"Far away is a place where I hide
the truth that have to be locked away"

And so I hear my voice again
The tale of the bitter man, here I am
Shake the silence and hear what it says
The tranquil pride that become the lie

Sell me the infection, it's only for the weak
No need for sympathy, the misery that is me
Sell me the infection, it's only for the weak
On bleeding knees I accept my fate

=> In Flames - Only For The Weak

On their way to a deserted town
Where empty windows wave goodbye
A helpless excuse, a falling reality
I'm changed by the shock
And the weight of the punch
A helpless excuse, a falling reality

"You are but a form",
The clean, harsh silence passes
"Genuine" visions by the Noble Ones
For the Noble Ones

=> In Flames - Insipid 2000

To discover the loneliness and be too proud to show the wounds
Will forever wander alone through the years

But I won't let you near
Begging for you to understand
The fear that lives in my soul
Which is an untouched spring

Read, what is written on the silent mouth
What is written in the soul
For which is written in the shining silence
We all have to read

=> In Flames - Embody The Invisible

Friday, January 21, 2005

Kissing the Tarmac

Had a reasonably reasonable booze party on 19th. We had gone to the bar after one of the guys decided that he would be magnanimous and give attendance proxy to the whole class except for a few. After all Electronics fest is meant to be bunked. We had a bottle of Seagram's Imperial Blue and lots of King, Wills and a few Ultimas. Maaannnn, I hogged so much chicken that I don't want to hear anyone mentioning chicken to me. Came home, slept like a log.

Was thinking about a lot of things in my sleep. I remembered my first major accident. I would have been going at around 70 KMPH, when I fell asleep. It was like one second my eyes were wide open, and then I wanted to blink my eyes. So I closed my eyes and then when I open them, I see that my right arm and right leg are cutting across the tarmac. Searing pain is flowing through my body. My leg was trapped between the crash guard and the engine and the heat was making the pain even more unbearable. That instant, I close my eyes and my whole life flashed before my eyes. All the good things and the bad things that I've done. For the miserable sadist I had been. Thinking about the people who used to call me their friend. And the people who used to hate me to the core. And.... I was thinking about her... And then I whooshed to a stop. I was dazed and somehow I get up and start cursing cos' my bike had suffered quite some damage. I picked up my bike and headed back home. Now when I look back and try and remember that, I feel that the whole experience was a transcendental one. It was as if you are truly holding time your captive and moving through all of time and all of life in a bizarre fashion that overpowers the simplest and the most complicated of all desires. I had never had such an experience before. It was an Out-of-the-world experience. From that day on, my life made more sense to me than it ever did in the past so many years. I long for a similar experience, but hopefully without all the flesh tearing and the scars on my body.

However, my 2nd accident was nowhere near as "cool" as my first. I just thought - Oh no!! Not again, man...

I remembered good ol' Cannibal Corpse and Aniruddh. Now, Aniruddh is no longer with us, but Godspeed, my pal. Remembered his dialogue - Today your north will burn and tomorrow your south will burn. That was what was about to happen 24 hrs later. Coming back to Cannibal Corpse... The last time I met her was a few days back. All of a sudden, I realize that something must have happened to her that has made her so serious in life. She no longer is the funny, obscenity discharging, neck breaking machine she used to be in PU days. What in the world has made her so damn serious in life? I'm contemplating that it is something tragic, but god forbid.

I remember her telling me during In Bloom (my college cultural fest) that I should get a love story going on. We were also discussing about how my college has only "Chocolate" love affairs meaning that people do it just to show other people that they have girlfriends. I guess that people also want to boast that they've laid a girl. That's just it. The whole concept is so fucking irritating. Look around yourself. There's a lot going on. Annnyways, coming back to our good old pal Cannibal Corpse, she has definitely become much thinner than she was a couple of years back and I guess more mature and has a wider view of the world.

To this day, it is still a mystery to me... Why have we been created on this Earth? What is the purpose of life? Why do we become confused? Why are people so varied in their behaviour? Why can't all of us be the same? Why do emotions course through our veins? Why is it that some people can transcend while others are still caught up in worldly affairs? How can you distinguish between Dreams and Visions and Reality? Maybe this is what is called life. A confusing complexity which semi-blinds you from reality.

Thus wondered The Arcane Crapper.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Of Kachoris And Jalebis

Yo to my fellow mortals... Had a reasonable day today (read as pretty good.) Funny, I never knew that people in Rajasthan have a bite of Kachori and then alternate it with Jalebis. Weird, ain't it? Piece of gyaan attributed to Noopur. Speaking of which, there were 3 bikes "escorting" her to the Panipuri place in Koramangala. Her "escorts" (read "us") were making loud noises on Hosur road (like shouting and clearing the way so the motorcade could pass through, and doing Salaams on the road) and the poor thing was getting embarassed. I'd have hated to be in her place.

Getting more serious in life, there was a thing I'd been thinking hard about. On saturday, AK and I were talking about Hyderabad and how we enjoy returning to Hyderabad and meeting up. Then I was a bit startled when I heard from his oral orifice that Hyderabad has now become our past. We are never going to return there and live there as we did. That part of life is over. Those days are never coming back, however hard we want them to. I was thinking along the same lines, but this just reaffirms that it will always be a place where we can enjoy a break and remind ourselves of our carefree days. We are never 'GOING BACK' there... AK had always been the more specific of us both, and his points hit straight home. No bullshit, just fact. But however, he used to long for Hyd. more than me, cos' by now I had gotten used to Bangalore and it seems really strange coming outta his mouth. But it's true, very true. There's too much life ahead to waste thinking about our past. New places, new experiences and new friends along with old. Life is meant to be lived indeed. And at that point, we extinguished our last Marlboro for the night.

Maaannnn... I just wish that right now, I could be standing on a beach half-naked and wearing only a jeans ragged with time, with my hands in my pocket, watching the Sun go down. And when the Sun has set, I would smoke and drink and chat and then party on the beach, around a bonfire. Then I would lie down on my back watching the stars that light the night. I would close it off by having sex with some nice female in a cozy tent... and a good night's sleep.

Thus wished the Arcane Crapper

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Faustus And Helen

Yo everyone... had been to the Snakes and Ladders play on Faustus tonight with AK. The play was brilliant!!! It was comical, yet had a serious ring to it. Mah pal Joshey was "simbly suberb." Even AK enjoyed the play, which I am sure is something he normally does not. All the usual CMS buggers were there and there was this time when Supriya exclaimed - "Oh my god... Joshey... Is he all right?" and the audience burst out laughing. And ohmanomaaann... Nikita was looking like a bomb... oooh laaalaaaaa. Loved the way she plays a bimbo over there. On the whole 'twas an evening well spent.

Spent the day with AK and Maya. Maya had a really tough time handling both of us. We were ripping like crazy!! Reached 100 KMPH quite a few times. Then had some serious discussions with AK about the future of a lot of things - some normal, some special. We were at Madiwala waiting for his bus and we were smoking Ultimas and Marlboros and singing -

It was the winter of 2kfive....
Oh when we look back now,
That winter seemed to last forever,
And if we had a choice,
Yeah, we'd wanna be there,
Those were the best days of our lives....

Funny how it is; the promises people make, people usually never keep. Time changes people and those promises which we once made swearing on our blood just gather dust in the attic of our memories. But I guess these are one of the things that no matter what happens, you do end up living up to them. Some friendships are born to live forever. But yet again, forever is just another time scale. Which one will it be?

Thus crapped Dr. Arcane Crapper.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Rest In Peace, Mogambo

Ok this is gonna be my 4th post for the day and I really think I have overdone it. So, I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.

1. Mogambo....... Mar Gaya. RIP, Mah main man.

2. I guess my bike should henceforth be called Maya. Chunnu, if you're reading it you better comment on it, or else...

3. Spent the day with Chunnu cracking weird and cheap jokes. We were nostalgic about PU Days.

4. Now comes the weird point. There's this female I know and I have heard that she has run away from home. Even though I knew her on a more personal level than the other guys in the gang, still feel something's amiss here. Anyways, gotta check it out.

The Arcane Crapper has crapped.

19 Wasted Years

Turning up the volume and feeling as if Dickinson is standing by my ear and screaming -

But now it seems
I'm just a stranger to myself
And all the things I sometimes do
It isn't me but someone else

I close my eyes
And think of home
Another city goes by
In the night

Ain't it funny how it is
You never miss it till it's gone away
And my heart is lying there
And will be till my dying day

So true man... so true. It makes me wanna cryyyyyy.... Exactly my feelings at this point of time. Maybe I am holding on to my past so dearly that I do not realize the worth of "Right Now". I missed Hyderabad when I moved here and I still do and my heart will always lie there till my dying day. Makes me realize how much Bangalore has changed me. Yes, there are experiences I have gained which I would not have got if I had not been here but still... Hyd rocks...

But then....

So understand
Don't waste your time always
Searching for those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
And realise you're living
In the golden years

So I guess I should not be wasting my time searching for happiness and contentment but realize the happiness that I can abound in where I stand. Misery is a black hole... Keeps sucking everything out of you till you have rotted and become a mere skeleton of yourself and eventually die. I must realize that phases come and go and life goes on, and it eventually is a good day to be alive, good day to be alive indeed. Heaven can wait, and must wait for another day.

Hence crapped the Arcane Crapper.

The Bajaj Pulsar

Now, a doubt has been lingering in my mind. A bike is a "She" cos' it comes err... in between my legs. Now, I happen to have a Pulsar (graciously given to me by my cousin's hubby cos' he had to choose between leaving it lying like that for a year or give it to me to take care of it, obviously I was the lesser of the two evils. Maybe not, cos' I have crashed it so many times...) Now, technically speaking, the boffins at Bajaj call it "Definitely Male". So does that mean I am gay? I hope not... Uggggghhhhh!!! Now, the bike, if labelled a "She" will happen to be moi Brother-In-Law's 2nd wife - the first being my cuz. So.... I have had an affair for almost a year and a half. So I guess it's high time I decide what to call her. Any suggestions?

Voice Of The Soul

I'm very, very pissed off with recent happenings.

The river of time is taking me with it's currents and just when I had begun to think that I've gotten to know how to sail my boat of life, the boat crumbles down. Leaves me feeling I'm totally useless.

Dark, Dark as the grave, my heart is dead
I'm just a slave of this decay
Still I'm alive, but I feel dead

These were a coupla lines from a song by Rage (not RATM, just Rage). But seriously, the thoughts and feelings running through me of late are anything but clear. They seem to be swamped... muddily swamped. I feel lost and dazed in a weird kinda way; can't explain it. Got no interest in anything or anyone in life and maybe it's getting too monotonous or maybe I'm just on one of my extraordinarily down days. I can't relate to anyone anymore and I've just lost my ability to converse rubbish. Becoming very introvert-ish nowadays. So truly, I'm alive but I must be dead.

Adding to my irritation was the fact that the roads of Bangalore are anything but good and it would have made no difference to me if I was living in a village (at least I could escape the pollution that way) and the fact that my engine was sounding amazingly bad, which irritated me to no end, and I swear that my clutch plate has gone for a toss. Aaarggghhhh!!! Bangalore is such a fucked up place. Hyderabad was way better in terms of people, places and ROADS and I long to be back there.