Scene One : Hosur Road, 2.08 PM
I'm passing by college, riding my bike at 30 KMPH, that too in 5th gear. Cos' I'm lazy. Yes, my bike can go 30 KMPH in 5th gear just a little above idling speed. Enter new character. Kannadiga Mawali type "Asshole", henceforth referred to as just "Asshole", rips on his HH Splendour and overtakes me. Almost collides during the process.
(NOTE : Words in quotes like "Asshole" must be read in Dr. Evil style... For eg. The "Laaayser". Got it?)
Me being the cocky guy that I am, decide that this guy's not gonna escape me. Downshift 3 gears, shift posterior a couple of inches behind, lock knees on the fuel tank, incline my back from straight backed to a 45 degree thing and throttle away. (Abe, I positively hate it when smart-asses in underpowered bicycle-equivalents try to show me off.) I'm still in 2nd gear, closing in on "asshole". Speed : 40 KMPH. Upshift to 3rd gear. "Asshole" gets frantic, starts throttling all the way down. Diary circle flyover starts. Your hero "Arcane Crapper" is very much in 3rd gear and effortlessly reaches 60 KMPH and is now side-by-side with "Asshole". "Asshole" gets extremely frantic.
"Asshole" can't do a thing. He accepts defeat as he sees "Arcane Crapper" shift into 4th and then 5th and reach a speed of 90 KMPH. "Arcane Crapper" faded away into the concrete horizon.
End of 'Fairy Bike Tale'. Why 'Fairy Bike Tale', you may ask. That's cos my bike has a fairing. That's why.
End of Scene One. 2.09 PM.
---
Scene 2 : The Spoof. Remembrance of 10.05.2006.
Me (10.05.2006 2:47:35 Am) : When IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII was a child, I had a beaverrrr,
Sita (10.05.2006 2:47:43 Am) : oh
Me (10.05.2006 2:47:44 Am) : I turned to look but it was gone
Sita (10.05.2006 2:47:49 Am) : and u didnt feed it?
Sita (10.05.2006 2:48:06 Am) : and why are u listening to floyd at three in the morning
Me (10.05.2006 2:48:06 Am) : It will not bite my finger aany-more
Sita (10.05.2006 2:48:21 Am) : and making fun of it also
Me (10.05.2006 2:48:26 Am) : I.... have become... comfortably dumb
Me (10.05.2006 2:48:33 Am) : ROTFL
Sita (10.05.2006 2:49:08 Am) : and, your honour, he rests his case.
---
Scene 3 : Bedroom. 9.15 PM
There's something strangely romantic, and a sense of belonging that a person feels when he sits in his bedroom. There's something magical about the walls (maybe walls can hear things). There's a sense of comfort knowing that you're alone and yet... never alone. Supernatural stuff? Nope. The Internet. And the books, oh yes. Amazing things. Just looking at a pile of books stacked, arranged or strewn all over. Just looking. Is enough. To make a person beam with pride.
There's something soothing, almost heavenly, as I look at my fingers moving across the keyboard, at times slow, sometimes fast and parallely listen to my subwoofer thumping out beats of Priest's 'A Touch Of Evil'... 101 posts on my blog including this and I can only look back at the person I was 100 posts back. And a very unreal smile bursts open. I would not even be writing about retrospective thoughts if I had something better to ruminate upon. If I could see the moon out of my window, it'd just complete something almost perfect. But the clouds... Woe.
I'm passing by college, riding my bike at 30 KMPH, that too in 5th gear. Cos' I'm lazy. Yes, my bike can go 30 KMPH in 5th gear just a little above idling speed. Enter new character. Kannadiga Mawali type "Asshole", henceforth referred to as just "Asshole", rips on his HH Splendour and overtakes me. Almost collides during the process.
(NOTE : Words in quotes like "Asshole" must be read in Dr. Evil style... For eg. The "Laaayser". Got it?)
Me being the cocky guy that I am, decide that this guy's not gonna escape me. Downshift 3 gears, shift posterior a couple of inches behind, lock knees on the fuel tank, incline my back from straight backed to a 45 degree thing and throttle away. (Abe, I positively hate it when smart-asses in underpowered bicycle-equivalents try to show me off.) I'm still in 2nd gear, closing in on "asshole". Speed : 40 KMPH. Upshift to 3rd gear. "Asshole" gets frantic, starts throttling all the way down. Diary circle flyover starts. Your hero "Arcane Crapper" is very much in 3rd gear and effortlessly reaches 60 KMPH and is now side-by-side with "Asshole". "Asshole" gets extremely frantic.
"Asshole" can't do a thing. He accepts defeat as he sees "Arcane Crapper" shift into 4th and then 5th and reach a speed of 90 KMPH. "Arcane Crapper" faded away into the concrete horizon.
End of 'Fairy Bike Tale'. Why 'Fairy Bike Tale', you may ask. That's cos my bike has a fairing. That's why.
End of Scene One. 2.09 PM.
---
Scene 2 : The Spoof. Remembrance of 10.05.2006.
Me (10.05.2006 2:47:35 Am) : When IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII was a child, I had a beaverrrr,
Sita (10.05.2006 2:47:43 Am) : oh
Me (10.05.2006 2:47:44 Am) : I turned to look but it was gone
Sita (10.05.2006 2:47:49 Am) : and u didnt feed it?
Sita (10.05.2006 2:48:06 Am) : and why are u listening to floyd at three in the morning
Me (10.05.2006 2:48:06 Am) : It will not bite my finger aany-more
Sita (10.05.2006 2:48:21 Am) : and making fun of it also
Me (10.05.2006 2:48:26 Am) : I.... have become... comfortably dumb
Me (10.05.2006 2:48:33 Am) : ROTFL
Sita (10.05.2006 2:49:08 Am) : and, your honour, he rests his case.
---
Scene 3 : Bedroom. 9.15 PM
There's something strangely romantic, and a sense of belonging that a person feels when he sits in his bedroom. There's something magical about the walls (maybe walls can hear things). There's a sense of comfort knowing that you're alone and yet... never alone. Supernatural stuff? Nope. The Internet. And the books, oh yes. Amazing things. Just looking at a pile of books stacked, arranged or strewn all over. Just looking. Is enough. To make a person beam with pride.
There's something soothing, almost heavenly, as I look at my fingers moving across the keyboard, at times slow, sometimes fast and parallely listen to my subwoofer thumping out beats of Priest's 'A Touch Of Evil'... 101 posts on my blog including this and I can only look back at the person I was 100 posts back. And a very unreal smile bursts open. I would not even be writing about retrospective thoughts if I had something better to ruminate upon. If I could see the moon out of my window, it'd just complete something almost perfect. But the clouds... Woe.
2 comments:
assholes only exist to make you feel better.
anyway, thanks for the mention and all. i'm re-reading my own 3-am dialogues and going, hahah! that's me, yeah!
Hey Hosur road and all makes me very nostalgic, and very often I see a very strong resemblense between you and a friend, other than your writing which is way better.
ALso I love the bit about the bedroom.
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