How To Study For English Exam...
How to Study for an English Exam (or any language exam, for that matter) :
Aim : To write the exam and "just flunk"... yesss. "Just flunk", not "just pass". Or flunk with honour (Single digit marks.)
Principle : Combined studies with a person of equal calibre as you in the subject.
Formula : Effectively maximizing absorption of study material while ensuring least wastage of time.
Procedure :
1. Go to a friend's house for combined studies... (yeah.. for hindi.)
2. As soon as you get there, tell him you want to smoke. So go for a smoke... Walking at least a KM or two and utilize one hour for the process.
3. Come back. Wait for friend's brother to turn up so that the latest current affairs can be discussed (i.e who did what, who is the biggest chooth in the college and crack jokes.)
4. Go out and eat with friend, friend's brother and friends of friend's brother.
5. Drink flavoured milk (2 bottles.)
6. Go back. Play chess while saying that it stimulates positive mental energy.
6.a. Bug people by sending junk sms's to people of the opposite sex and mimic their dialogues such as "Watcha doin?", "How can you be so rude?", "You meanie.", "I don't know why I am still messaging you." and "I'm never going to talk to you again! So there..."
7. Start studying and open the books. As soon as you open, you realize that you're better off if people who actually know something tell you the 3 minute summary of stories. So close the books.
8. Sleep. Wake up the next morning. Reach college two hours before the exam actually begins. Sit with friend and chat.
9. Write Exam. During the exam, take additional sheets and make and throw paper balls at the guy sitting two benches ahead of you. Attempt for exactly twice the marks you want to score. For Ex: I attempted for 60 marks, so I'll get 30. Successfully "Just Flunked!!". Mission Accomplished.
Result : Gyaan successfully passed around.
Hence, he spread enlightenment... The Arcane Crapper.
Aim : To write the exam and "just flunk"... yesss. "Just flunk", not "just pass". Or flunk with honour (Single digit marks.)
Principle : Combined studies with a person of equal calibre as you in the subject.
Formula : Effectively maximizing absorption of study material while ensuring least wastage of time.
Procedure :
1. Go to a friend's house for combined studies... (yeah.. for hindi.)
2. As soon as you get there, tell him you want to smoke. So go for a smoke... Walking at least a KM or two and utilize one hour for the process.
3. Come back. Wait for friend's brother to turn up so that the latest current affairs can be discussed (i.e who did what, who is the biggest chooth in the college and crack jokes.)
4. Go out and eat with friend, friend's brother and friends of friend's brother.
5. Drink flavoured milk (2 bottles.)
6. Go back. Play chess while saying that it stimulates positive mental energy.
6.a. Bug people by sending junk sms's to people of the opposite sex and mimic their dialogues such as "Watcha doin?", "How can you be so rude?", "You meanie.", "I don't know why I am still messaging you." and "I'm never going to talk to you again! So there..."
7. Start studying and open the books. As soon as you open, you realize that you're better off if people who actually know something tell you the 3 minute summary of stories. So close the books.
8. Sleep. Wake up the next morning. Reach college two hours before the exam actually begins. Sit with friend and chat.
9. Write Exam. During the exam, take additional sheets and make and throw paper balls at the guy sitting two benches ahead of you. Attempt for exactly twice the marks you want to score. For Ex: I attempted for 60 marks, so I'll get 30. Successfully "Just Flunked!!". Mission Accomplished.
Result : Gyaan successfully passed around.
Hence, he spread enlightenment... The Arcane Crapper.
3 comments:
why
How enlightening. We totally got will screw up our lives by doing that. Thanks for the advice. =P
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