Opiário

Ok, if anyone has wondered what the lines at the top of the page mean, here is a full fledged explanation of those lines.

The whole para goes like this :

Por isso eu tomo opio. é um remédio.
Sou um convalescente do Momento.
Moro no rés do chão do Pensamento
E ver passar a vida faz-me tédio.

[Fernando Pessoa/Alvaro Campos: Opi…rio]


The short Portuguese piece is actually a quote from one of the most famous and at the same enigmatic poets of Portuguese literature, Fernando Pessoa. One of the most interesting aspects of this poet was that he used different personalities; each one creating a peculiar kind of writing and a very particular universe of interpretation and artistic creation.

This piece is about the Creative power of the Drug called Opium. It is a piece of Pessoa's, on the "person" of his heteronyms Alvaro de Campos who was more directed into a kind of urban, grey, depressive poetry.

Disregarding the loss of power of language and effectiveness that translation brings forth, it means...

"Therefore I take opium. It is a medicine.
I am a convalescent of the Moment.
I live in the groundfloor of Thought
And seeing life go by, grows me tedious."

Now maybe you would wonder how a weirdo like me got to know of Portuguese poetry? Wellll, It started like this. There is this song called Opium, by a band called Moonspell. So at the end of the song, he includes this piece of poetry. I liked it. I put it up on my blog. Copyright violations? Not a darn thing... So sue me if you think otherwise. He he... ;-) And people think that William Wordsworth is profound. Saala Wordsworth Maakikirkiri...

A Triangle Is My Soul

Ich hatte den perfekten traum
Noch gar nicht lange her
Aufregend und doch schlecht
Was ist wirklich? Ich weiss es nicht!

Seemed just like that yesterday. I dunno how come I went out of control. Damn!! I didn't even have too much vodka... Damn!! I've never embarassed myself to such an extent... Oh, the shame of it all... It's ok! I'm not gonna bother about the past. But really, poor N and S... They really had to put up with my crap.

I know I still believe he'd never let me leave
I had to run away alone
So many threats and fears, so many wasted years
Before my life became my own

And though the nightmares should be over
Some of the terrors are still intact
I'll hear that ugly coarse and violent voice
And then he grabs me from behind and then he pulls me back

=> Meatloaf - Objects In The Rear View Mirror

Maybe this should serve as an eternal reminder to me that the only person in my life who can hold me back is myself. No one else, nothing else... We are who and what we are, and some part of us will always stay that way. The past will always continue to influence us, but it is upto us to make the right choices in life, and always learn from the past instead of running away from it. But annnnyyyways, life is neither too long nor too short and there is just enough time for us to do what we are born to do.

I'm the warheart, I'm dying to win the battle I live everyday
One for all and all for me, I'm an animal, better set me free!!

=> Children Of Bodom - Warheart


Take me with you, take me far; take me away from the painless soul
Drop the haze; save the skies... reaper never lies

Like lightning from the sky,
The moon is up with pride; go listen, take away

Your place for my lying out... being high, come Heaven above
Drop it now: it falls alive; take me to the sky.

=> Children Of Bodom - Northern Comfort

With this, I'll leave anyone who reads this totally confused about what's going on in my head.

Que Pasa?

Today was a very good day to be alive.

I had chatted with M and with N also today. N seems to be a more complex person than I thought she was. Was trying to discuss with her about emotions and thoughts of Higher and Lower levels... So what exactly are they? How do we go about defining them? The more I try to understand and simplify Life and Thought processes, the more I drown in abnormally huge complexities of the Bloody Web of Life. Everything's so interconnected. It's getting so hopeless that I am actually contemplating not even doing any more analyzing in my life. Torn in two on this...

Now M... Dammit, she has also become a typical workaholic now. She made me realize that I am so involved in my work (more specifically, my "Little World") that I really am not able to feel that I am living completely. My preoccupation with what I am doing has taken it's toll. There is so little enjoyment in my life yet there is so much of it as well. Maybe I've said too much, but I haven't said enough. Aaaaargggghhh!! I'm going mad. He he, well not really.

Which brings us back to the original statement. Why did I say that today was a good day to be alive? That's because it really was!! And moreover, we were cracking an astounding number of Science jokes and PJ's (Poor Jokes.) Godddd!!!! Hope my life improves...

Thus He Confused You, The Arcane Crapper.

A Vision... For The Noble Ones... By The Noble Ones

Hmmm... I wonder about what is happening to the society around us. Sometimes when I lay my crackpot head on the pillow and start thinking about what I am going to in my life, the other part of me immediately answers "What is there to think about that? I know that. I am going to do research in Physics. Pay is good. Satisfaction guaranteed. What more do you want in life, u chooth?" I guess it's better to put this out as a convo between me and myself (henceforth referred as Arc1 and Arc2.)


Arc1 : Yeah, I know that but there must be more to life than that right?

Arc2 : Obviously, we know we are going to make a mark and then leave the world.

Arc1 : I was talking more about where the human race is heading, in general.

Arc2 : Oh, ok...

Arc1 : We live in a world full of lies, deceit, greed, hatred, jealousy, animosity, tragedies, betrayals and... death. Is too much to ask for my own world? My own world in which everyone around me and myself are happy, contented, peaceful and live blissful lives. Is it too much to ask for unadulterated happiness? Sometimes it saddens me when I look at issues of morality and communalism that entwine our society. It's a poison that runs through our veins, a poison we know is killing us but yet... no one, not even me does anything about it.

Arc2 : You know you are strong. Fight it, beat it. Haven't we always believed that we possess the inner strength to do what it takes to have our own way with life?

Arc1 : Yeah dude... But how long can I take it? Every time I feel I have battled this world and gained some new experiences, I feel drained out my energy. I am being devoured by my own thoughts. Every time I believe I can stand alone on the shores of trust and face the Waves of the Ocean of Time and remain unscathed, I am being pushed back along the shore. When I take two steps ahead and face the waves again, I drown. Maybe I am emotionally and mentally tired. Tired of life itself. Every time I believed I alone could have made a difference, I lacked the courage within myself to act and found my beliefs slowly withering away. All through my life, I had decided that I would not let life take control of me but I will shape my life as I desire. But now, I am being proved grossly wrong. I feel that Life along with the Wheel of Time are playing dice with me. I no longer feel that I have the courage within myself to face life, but yet the only thing that keeps me going is this....

Arc2 : That we are not that weak, and life is a challenge and I'm going to do whatever it takes to conquer my life and that I'm not gonna give up now... not now, never!!!

Arc1 : Exactly!!!! But the motivation does not sustain me for as long as it used to before. But now when I say this, Yeah, there is a ray of hope, I'm not as weak as I thought I was. So it means I have to go on.

Arc2 : Yeah!!! That's the spirit!! Now while we are at this, what about that morality shit?

Arc1 : What is morality exactly? Is it adherence to a specific set of actions prescribed by society or is it the will to do something in such a way that it does not affect anyone adversely?

Arc2 : Beats me... I guess we will know only when we face such circumstances and when our moment of truth finally arrives.

Arc1 : Yeah, I guess you're right. So tell me... do you think that we guys can actually be monogamous?

Arc2 : I doubt it dude... But maybe Love and Sex can be separated, maybe they cannot. At this point, what I believe is that it's Ok to have sex with another person whom you know is sure is doing it just for the enjoyment part and it's a mutual consensus that it's gonna be only fun, nothing else. But the person you trust as your partner for life must be well aware of it. This seems hypothetical, but maybe reality is different. You cannot just have sex with another person and expect your partner to be cool about it. By partner, I mean the one you love.

Arc1 : I'm still having my doubts, though I like the idea.

Arc2 : Nothing is perfect. Not even my theories about love and sex. But when a fault is found.. fix it. Till then enjoy... But remember... it's important to have a single person whom you trust and you know is your partner... for life. But what I'm saying does not imply that you become a fuckin prostitute and keep fucking all day long and wind up with AIDS or Syphilis or something like that.

Arc1 : Excellent!! All bow down before the great Arcane Crapper.

Arc2 : No applause, please. **grinning**


Discussion ends. Wisdom propagated. Mission Accomplished!!

Her Roar Clears Up My Mind

I'm too late with my billloggg postss... The last 2 days have taken their toll on me. But today was a good day to be alive. Maya is finally back from the Mechanic's... Her roar has changed. Not the gruff one but a silken smooth growl. Her fork's been repaired. And her clutch plate and gearbox as well. The carb had been screwed but now it's fine. On the whole... Maya's had botox pumped in her. He he he.

I was probably never this hyper in the past few months. Goddamn... I asked so many question in today's Statistical Physics class.

On a more serious note, I have this feeling that some things are changing. As the Sensei says... I have transformed, not for the first time but not for the last either. Lemme see what the Wheel of Time brings for me.

How To Study For English Exam...

How to Study for an English Exam (or any language exam, for that matter) :

Aim : To write the exam and "just flunk"... yesss. "Just flunk", not "just pass". Or flunk with honour (Single digit marks.)

Principle : Combined studies with a person of equal calibre as you in the subject.

Formula : Effectively maximizing absorption of study material while ensuring least wastage of time.

Procedure :

1. Go to a friend's house for combined studies... (yeah.. for hindi.)

2. As soon as you get there, tell him you want to smoke. So go for a smoke... Walking at least a KM or two and utilize one hour for the process.

3. Come back. Wait for friend's brother to turn up so that the latest current affairs can be discussed (i.e who did what, who is the biggest chooth in the college and crack jokes.)

4. Go out and eat with friend, friend's brother and friends of friend's brother.

5. Drink flavoured milk (2 bottles.)

6. Go back. Play chess while saying that it stimulates positive mental energy.

6.a. Bug people by sending junk sms's to people of the opposite sex and mimic their dialogues such as "Watcha doin?", "How can you be so rude?", "You meanie.", "I don't know why I am still messaging you." and "I'm never going to talk to you again! So there..."

7. Start studying and open the books. As soon as you open, you realize that you're better off if people who actually know something tell you the 3 minute summary of stories. So close the books.

8. Sleep. Wake up the next morning. Reach college two hours before the exam actually begins. Sit with friend and chat.

9. Write Exam. During the exam, take additional sheets and make and throw paper balls at the guy sitting two benches ahead of you. Attempt for exactly twice the marks you want to score. For Ex: I attempted for 60 marks, so I'll get 30. Successfully "Just Flunked!!". Mission Accomplished.

Result : Gyaan successfully passed around.

Hence, he spread enlightenment... The Arcane Crapper.